Tuesday, 23 April 2013
if you have not realised, i'm once again in a long distance relationship (LDR) [god help me].
of course anyone would want to know, how different is one thing from another even though its 99.99% similar.
so I bet you wanna know what's different. BUT NO, I'm the mood to type about how I'm still struggling to make it look/feel easy.
1. FLYING IN AND OUT
it's darn tiring, but thank god its singapore. packing my ODJ, make up, shoes etc then bring my luggage to the office, arranging for the driver etc. OMG. not forgetting i'm constantly checking Jetstar, Firefly, Tiger and Airasia for rates. My credit card verification over the phone went like 'Hi Miss Sin, what and when is your last transaction?" "omg hmm <shopping site 1>" "no, try again" "<shopping site 2>" "hmm sorry but no" "<webticketing site 1>" "sorry do you need a hint?" "NO <shopping site 3> <webticketing site 2> <shopping site 4> <shopping site 5> <webticketing site 3>, omg i give up!!!" "just a hint, it's not a shopping site or webticketing website". Well ok, so that's how crazy my credit card bills have been. A gazillion shopping sites and airtickets.
2. SINGAPORE IS POISONOUS
My boyfriend say I have a shopping problem. just yesterday night I wasnt paying much attention to our daily 'skype' session because I was going through my taiwan trip ODJ packing list (yups, I'm super psycho in planning. I have to plan every god damn thing) and was telling him 80% of my packing list are clothes and accessories I bought in the last 3 months. (obviously he said it again, "girl, you've got a shopping problem")"ok let's see - ZARA leather shorts, bought last week; BYSI white top; bought 2 months ago; Boy Chanel, bought 2 weeks ago; Chanel fingerless gloves, bought last month.... (STOP! ok I think I need to get ready now and go back to the office, I need to work harder <it was 11.45pm btw>) HAHAHAHA. Ok anyways how does this relate to SINGAPORE IS POISONOUS?
of course it is, because 50% of my shopping is online, 35% is SINGAPORE and 10% at the stores and last 5% is just random (could be anything from flea market, to random pop up store, vintage clothing store to pasar seni). SINGAPORE IS POISONOUS because when EJ is at work, I would go On Pedder and try charlotte olympias just to feel good; When he's at work; I would go to some random indy shop (as usual INDY ARE EXPENSIVE BECAUSE OF THE WORD INDY) and think I wanna try a new look (ends up that its so EDGY that you can only wear them in tokyo).
SINGAPORE IS POISONOUS because 30% of the things you're buying online are easily accessible. Then you don't hesitate because maybe the size won't fit, maybe the colour ain't that shocking - fuck that, in SINAGPORE you try them on and everything seems perfect and then there's no reason to not buy it. But the other 70% of the 50% of buying online doesn't end.
SINGAPORE IS POISONOUS because I constantly feel the need to be on-the-go and for that I tend to window shop ALOT. ALOT means I might just U-turn and go ok fuck it, get it la. ESPECIALLY that I HATE TO GO BACK THE NEXT DAY TO GET SOMETHING I SAW. so if you're my travel mate, PLEASE DONT EVER DO THAT. because I LOVE TO PLAN and i dont factor "going back the second time" in the plan. LOL. like seriously, I WONT TOLERATE IT.
3. YOUR EMOTIONS - TAKING A ROLLERCOASTER RIDE
my last post was all about how it's like being in an LDR. But doing it all over again, I forgot to mention YOUR EMOTIONS are your ENEMY. Sometimes I drive home crying (obviously cuz there's just so many things bottling up that you dont share it with anyone yet there's just no one close enough to give you a good cuddle). Sometimes I find myself crying before heading home and clinging to my bf and not let go because he's flying back the next morning. Sometimes I cry so hard that the heart aches so badly because I was robbed and I had nowhere to go to feel assured except being (or forced myself to act) 'Nothing-Happen-Don't-Disturb-Me'. Sometimes I find myself enjoying time alone especially grooming, facial, massage, spa and etc. Sometimes I find myself TRYING TO FIND 1001 things to do just to occupy myself. of course, sometimes I'm on cloud nine thinking WTF do I need another LDR. Then sometimes I tell myself, do it once you're new, do it twice you're experienced, do it 4 times you're SME - subject matter expert.
ONE DAY YOU FEEL SUPER GOOD IN A LDR, another day you feel like wtf. I HATE THIS MAN, i hate it. Why is god doing this to me.
anyways enough of the negative stuffs.
because I'm flying to TAIWAN in 3 days timeeeeeee. timetogettheshitouttahere.
"because I love you. And wanna build a life together. It's scary sometimes but I don't care. Just close my eyes and go"
love you too.
Thursday, 29 November 2012
well you know how there's like a million different apps to share everything that I share here.
s o c i a l m e d i a f r e n z y.
watching jinnyboytv's unfold part (2) and realised how did five years of long distance survived? practically i flew in and out of australia 5 times a year on average. every stay is about 4-5 weeks long. in between, I'm busy catching up my lectures, assignments, tutorials and preparing for exams that i barely have time to meet my friends (other than midnight supper, proper friday fine-dine and birthday parties). i never unpack my luggage because by the time i'm free i'm flying home again. i calculated on average i earn around 20,000 to 50,000 enrich miles per year.
anyways back to the video. honestly, i mean now that everything's old news. i guess i'll just be really frank about some of the many questions i get over the years.
do you like being in a long distance relationship (LDR)? Honestly yes and no. I can't decide. the hardest thing to get pass is the first three days after every trip back to melbourne. Yes. because i can focus on myself and only myself. do everything i like. all the time in the world for myself. my recent bangkok trip reminded me of that, and i really love it. just being by myself, no other ppl's errands, just mine. anytime, anywhere by myself. Well No, because who likes being alone. i really don't like to be alone but i need a time out every now and then. When you sleep all by yourself on your bed, it's just you and the sheets and tonnes of other lifeless things. even after 6 years, i'd say there's more NO than Yes.
what is it like being in a LDR? first up. learn to psycho yourself. no matter how anyone out there tells you how ideal their LDR is, trust me - no psycho, you could find yourself acting like a crazy woman at times. i think 90% of the time i psycho-ed myself that 'this is just a phase, i'm looking forward to x number of saturdays and i'll be home', and there's times where you go 'who the fuck is this girl in the picture?' and then you stare at the picture a million times and go, ok it's fine, close the fucking window and read your book (cuz if you're gonna bring it up then what's it like when you're out with your guy friends?) (and of course, not forgetting arguing) or sometimes when you both argue and you go like 'fuck it, i'm just gonna fucking hang up (i've got nothing to lose, (YA RIGHT, your mind perhaps))' so really, it's all about talking to yourself into zen mode. they say TRUST is the key thing. no doubt, but its not the only thing. trust me, LDR tests your patience, your determination, your open-mindedness, state of mind, temper and many more.
what is the most difficult part of LDR? waiting. for anything and everything. waiting for time to pass. waiting for him to call. waiting for him to get home. waiting to get his texts. waiting for his replies. waiting for skype time. waiting for the flights. waiting with only one purpose - to talk/meet/get in touch with the other one. well, best case, worst case and normal case scenarios - best case is bonus airtime. he comes home early and all he wants to do is not watch tv, meet his friends but skype with you cuz he's been missing you all day long. he's bored and he doesnt wanna do anything else other than talking to you cuz you've been missing him like mad. normal case scenarios is that you are able to contact him anytime, he picks up phone, talks to you for a while and you're assured and you hang up. both turn up on time for skype time, talk like all you did the entire day was missing each other. Worst case scenario is you can't get him and you're waiting for him to get home, he doesn't reply you at 3am in the morning cuz he's drinking with you-dont-know-who, or he say he can't pick up your calls now cuz its not very nice. or maybe he say he is going home soon at 2am but till 5am you still can't get him. or he skips skype once, twice and.... . i sound like a control freak? well put yourself in my shoes. if your relationship is 24/7 based on just skype and calls, well every god damn chance to talk/skype is like the only thing you care about. the above is vice versa.
heard anything back home that upsets you? plenty. that i can't count. but what matters? is how honest you are. i once cried 9 days straight thinking im losing my mind and wtf am i doing. i should just hook up and do smtg crazy - everyone else in uni is doing that!
were you interested in going out on a date with another guy? well i cant answer this for you. everyone's different. i swear i did not date anyone because I WAS HARD TO CATCH. CATCH meaning even my best friends find it difficult to 'book' dinners with me. why? because obviously i was busy studying, catching up, packing, cleaning before i fly back home again. so firstly, barely anyone knows me. BECAUSE I DON'T really know many people due to limited outings (my standard answer is - oh nooo, im back home that time!! shit :( ). secondly, there was barely enough time get 'HOT' with anyone. TIME WAS LIKE THE ONLY THING THAT WAS TOO LITTLE when im enjoying company of my best friends and TOO MUCH when im struggling to kill time.
would you go for another LDR? really. fate chooses you. you don't stand a chance choosing what comes around. unfortunately, i think i'm about to go through another one. but i guess the ultimate question is IF you can choose. NO. i think i'm getting a little too old for that.
my tips of killing time? plan a trip thoroughly. focus on a hobby whether it is exploring places to eat, running, singing, anything! meet up with your friends do super fun things that you'll never do (esp in uni) when you're young or simply just because being adult means you 'shouldn't' do it.
with my thai colleague, Mai during my month-half long work placement in bangkok
Eu-Jin and myself at butterworth for an ex-colleagues wedding, Kean Hu and his wife, Alice.
His cheeky smiles :) at Alice's place.
everyday in bangkok, I made myself explore new food joints to occupy my time and also making full use of my time being alone :)
spent one saturday at four seasons for high tea and also enjoying my new past-time favourite - reading.
fashion in bangkok is so disposable that buying anything trendy seems to be something you should worry the least. you'd fuss more about which colour at what price (even if it was 10 baht difference - and if you think about it, it's only a dollar plus diff in ringgit).
attended this fairytale wedding just last month - Ronald and Yi Leng. Probably by far the most romantic wedding ever :) here with Jian Win, one of my closest friend within the Pack of Seven.
together with YinYen, another PO7, my foodie explorer back in melbourne.
Eu-Jin and myself taking a camshot :) at the wedding ceremony.
Four Season's afternoon tea at the The Lobby.
Chuanlove and Yi Leng at the wedding.
sharing more on instagram you can follow me @mssasin
"bunny i know it's goin to be tough next year, but we will be there for each other. I love you so much"
Tuesday, 07 August 2012
from last dec the office BFFs have been talking about making it real - THE bangkok trip.
and so, it's now 3 weeks to our ultimate holiday. with some of the plus ones. anyways, i've always been the one planning holidays and scouting google maps to the extent i could picture grids in my head and visually feel the atmosphere even before i'm physically there. I USED TO. not now, or not entirely anymore cuz ive got a handyman who seemed to be equally as excited as I am and took up the 'hunting' before me. (god's will im f-fing sure!)
but anyways, so ive not been to bangkok since i was 15. so im pretty darn sure its going to be different. the last trip i was with Weiszi who now lives in Shanghai, and we were both fearless or should i say, we don't know what was out there - we roamed the streets, markets and malls. JUST THE TWO OF US. despite so, it was super awesome! man, only when you're young!!
Last met Weiszi when i was in shanghai for work. it was awesome and definitely worth the catch up and we're indeed making the effort to meet more often despite the travelling!
we definitely looked more grown up now!!
went for a nice & superb quiet italian restaurant by the bund for dinner, one of those times i felt great just leaving old memories behind and create new ones.
(above) some nice chocolate mousse that was really rich but the chef came over and told us that it was refrigerated too long and it would have been better if the texture was softer. good restaurants always have chefs who gives a darn abt their food, no doubt.
(below) crunchy ricotta cheese that was rich as well, but i kinda love it. its bittersweet with some dark chocolate to add a different flavour to it.
Shanghai for work with my colleague, Serena!
busy busy month it was for May, June and July. quite some travel to do. but i met up with awesome long-time BFFs. and of course, my goddaughter Averie Grace Sebastian was born on the 11th of July!
will share more photos but am sitting in traffic and its kinda dangerous!
add me on your instagram: mssasin !
"i miss every bit of you"
Thursday, 02 August 2012
Hellub! Having the xanga iPhone app got me hooked on blogging all over again (as if). With so many social networking app on my phone, you'll have times where you just go "why is there only 4 of this, I'm darn bored" and other times when you go "omg stop the bloody notifications why do we even need to maintain ONE?!" okay so I guess, everyone's the same.. NOTHING'S PERFECT!
Have been getting quite some pm asking where do I get my qipao and my evening dress custom-made. Well here you go! It's by Elaine from Red Lantern!
They've recently moved from Berjaya Times Square to Sunway Giza (right above Caring Pharmacy), nearer to us (pheww)!!
Just in case you're looking to get your qipao or wedding dress or evening gown custom made!
Block B-10-1, Giza Mall, Dataran Sunway, Kota Damansara, 47810 Petaling Jaya
Tel: 03-6148 9009
One of my first few with Elaine! Man I feel like I've aged! All the youth sucked away!
Sunday, 29 July 2012
forgive me but I wrote this whole long ass blogpost and the iPhone xanga app just decides to hang and.. gone.
I was just saying that I never knew or thought that I would have this in my relationship.. an issue no one wants to recognize that it is one and no one wants to be proud to know that it is one.
Bad enough I guess peer pressure even though not explicit, hits everyone in the head.
Nothing is perfect that's right, but I guess this is one thing I don't want to acknowledge what more knowing its one that's happening now.
little bit of myself..
still very much in love with where i come from-malaysia, this beautiful neighbourhood with amazing culture. Left 5-years of melbourne for good and now looking forward to explore the many amazing things in life. often surrounded by beautiful and loving souls. my tip-top priority is assurance. having to satisfy myself, i love sparkles, scarfs, brooches and can't seem to get over bags. i'm known for being health-conscious. can never get enough of anti-oxidants and leafy vege. i'm still trying to live up with my life. so here's a little bit more about my everyday!